


my love, my life

by Gal_tic



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Married, Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Soulmates, M/M, POV Phil Lester, Sad Phil Lester, dan has passed away, grandfather phil, not angst, phil is looking over his life, they are old men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 03:02:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15596772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gal_tic/pseuds/Gal_tic
Summary: At the age of 75, Phil Lester looks over his life. Now a grandfather, how is his life without his soulmate?





	my love, my life

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back!
> 
> I've needed some time to get back into writing, and this idea had been rattling around in my head, so I knew I had to get it down :) 
> 
> The title is taken from an ABBA song (the song itself has no relation to this fic, although it is lovely)
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and please don't hesitate to leave a kudos and/or comment if you enjoyed, or have any feedback! I love to hear from you. 
> 
> You can also find me on twitter @Galactic_Howell

_Creaky floors, a frosted window, and a warm cup of tea._

 

Phil Lester looked up from the newspaper he had been perusing over as he heard the kettle start to sing, marking the beginning of his morning. 

Standing up from the worn and paint chipped dining chair, he couldn’t help the groan that escaped his lips as pain shot through his hip at his sudden movement. 

Aging. The one thing he had always tried to outrun and cover with a new haircut, new wardrobe, or new outlook on the world. 

Despite this, it had eventually washed over him as he always knew it would. His hair - once black, was now a brilliant silver. At the age of 50, he had given up and let his usual dying process die. After all, he was a grandfather - he had embraced that title, and he could embrace another change. 

Change. Another necessary part of life that he had come to accept. Time had softened him - being a husband, father, and grandparent had been the true highlight of his life. Not that he looked upon his accomplishments with disgust - Youtube had also been a wonderful period of his life. Travelling the world, sharing with others and seeing how much he had effected people’s lives...it had been wonderful. 

However, as he sat down in his usual chair in the living room with his 5 year old granddaughter on his lap and told her stories about his life, he knew that his family had always been his greatest accomplishment. 

He had a lot of time to think now. 

Being young had been a blur of work, travelling and being completely smitten with the love of his life. He had an appreciation for being busy now, considering how much alone time he now had - the hustle and bustle of life was easy to miss. 

Not that he didn’t have hobbies - his favourite past-time had become bird watching out in his garden, which he still worked at every day. He had started a journal with each and every bird he saw that landed on the bird feeder, which he would share with April whenever she would come over. 

She was always thrilled to see his journal, responding with a ‘I saw the same one the other day, Grandpappy!’ Which would make him smile. 

Her childlike innocence kept him feeling young - and kept his mind off of...him. 

Dan.   
He missed him every hour of every day. How couldn’t he?

He had photos of them everywhere in the house - he couldn’t bear to move anything of Dan’s. His piano, his books, his favourite chair in the house had stayed in the same place since his passing. 

Even their bedroom had remained unchanged. A photo of Dan on his 60th birthday sat on his bedside table, and he knew he would never move it from its spot. 

In this way, he was still able to see Dan the moment he woke up. 

Dan’s presence still lingered in every part of the house - every room reminded Phil of memories they shared together. The spot where their daughter had walked for the first time, a crack in the wall in the kitchen where Dan had attempted to do a patch-job that had failed. 

Dan was everywhere. 

Taking a sip from his tea, Phil smiled to himself as he looked at Dan’s spot at the kitchen table. He could swear that he could still see him sitting there, smiling that same smile. 

“I love you.” He whispered, breath catching in his throat. 

 

_Creaky floors, a frosted window, and a warm cup of tea._

_A life we built together, young and free_

_Won’t you join me now at my life’s end?_

_I’m just coming around the bend_


End file.
